Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Self Indulgent

I can't believe I'm doing this. Really. I always thought it was a little rediculous, self indulgent. I mean, who is really that interested in my life? I would hear the word "blog" and think to myself, "Doesn't that person know we all have better things to do than read their blog? Surely they must be starved for attention, or just really, really bored with too much time on their hands."

But then a funny thing happened. I started reading some blogs of friends of mine, a little out of curiosity, and a little out of guilt. I figured if they are my friend and they sent me their blog address, I really should read it. I'll be honest here - I only read about five, and each time it was just a one time visit. I never felt captivated or moved, just that I had fulfilled my duty of visiting the friend's blog in the first place. That is, until recently, when I visited the blog of a friend I've never met. Was I captivated? YES. Was I moved? TO TEARS. Did I go back for more, and more and more? TILL ALL HOURS OF THE MORNING. This persons blog has single handedly changed my perspective on so many things - for the better.

I remember a specific conversation I had with my Poppy in the car one day. We were driving to Santa Barbara, and he told me one of the things he always wished he had done was write more. "Write in a journal," he said. "Every day, just take some time to write. Time goes by too fast, and when you look back, you'll be glad you wrote things down, because if you don't, you might forget."

I was a teenager at the time, but it stuck with me. And here I am, married with two kids, and the days go fleeting by. I haven't written in a journal even close to as much as I want to. I love my life and my family so much, and it makes me sad to think that as the days go by, I haven't saved the memories for my kids, or theirs. I feel like I'm taking it for granted - all of these wonderful moments are here before me, and yet it's like holding a butterfly. You just have to let it go.... Or do you? After reading the above mentioned blog and bawling my eyes out, I realized that this person has passed something on, for her kids, and their kids, and amidst it all, I am better for it. ME! Imagine that!

So here I am. I am giving in. It's no secret that I'm what they call a "Late Adopter." Hopefully, not too late.