34 Weeks and Rambling

Ok, so I skipped March. Bummer. I kept thinking I wanted to get on here and blog at least once, but the days are fleeting. And that is the point of me blogging - to capture moments in those fleeting times- but I guess for March I failed. Oh well, moving on.

My widget says I have 42 days to go. Crazy. Wow. I am 34 weeks this week, and I just don't understand where the time has gone, but I am still loving every minute of it. In fact, even more than before. As of March 1, my doc put me on disability for the rest of my pregnancy. I am in H.E.A.V.E.N. I love love love love being home with my babies and I just want to do this forever. It is the most rewarding work in the world and it just feels so good to hug and hold them as much as I want. Sooooo, I have made it my mission to make this a reality. 

My plan is to go back to work in September, finish out the year, and quit my job beginning January 2011. I plan to do makeup, and maybe another side job to bring in money. In the meantime, I need to create and follow a strict budget, save away some money, build a makeup website, get business cards, and create a marketing program for myself. Those things I need to get started on yesterday, because once the baby is here I doubt I'll have a bunch of time.

In other news, we have made improvements to the house and I'm very happy about it. We painted the living room, got new curtains and rug, and over the weekend we painted Zyan's room and gutted it of junk...I am feeling more and more ready for this baby as the days go by that I get stuff done. These are things I have been wanting to do forever but with a full time job and a family I just didn't have the energy. My house feels good, and so does my mind.

Yesterday was Easter, and Adlai and Zyan had a blast. Adlai really got the hang of hunting for eggs and we had quite a few hunts as usual. I'll be uploading pictures soon.

Alright, off to the doctor to check this baby's growth. What a boring post but there's nothing profound coming out of me today, so what you see is what you get!

In My Mind

Ok, let's jump into my mind for a minute.....
I just added a pregnancy ticker and am absolutely SHOCKED that it says I have 87 days to go..... that will be here tomorrow!

It is 12:45 am and I'm not all that tired.

I am starting to wonder about things. Where will I put the birthing tub? Do I want music on? Where is the baby going to sleep? Isn't it time I buy something? Anything? How do I ask my friends to buy me cloth diapers instead of cheezy duck or frog outfits at my baby shower? When is my house going to be clean?

I am also mentally listing all of the many things I want to do, but somehow I'm not doing any of them. Paint the living room, paint the nursery. Paint the bathroom. Paint Zyan's room. Paint the kitchen. Build a dog run. Pick out some things for this baby. Write in my diary. Organize pictures. Nesting, anyone?

Alright, I really ought to get to bed. My midwives have decided to be evil and throw me a curve ball and ask me to cut down on my coffee. Actually they first asked me to refrain from coffee all together but I calmly and assertively told them that would NOT be happening. So we agreed on one cup instead of two, or half calf. BOO. So my single coffee in the morning might not cut it if I don't get to bed soon!

Good Night.

Milestones

To be honest, I haven't felt up to blogging lately. Actually, I haven't felt like doing much at all except eating brownies with milk, drinking coffee, and watching Oprah. Am I in a funk? I don't think so. I think i'm just 6.5 months pregnant and I need a little break from the hustle and bustle. I'm starting to get that same feeling I always get as baby time gets closer, a longing to just stay home, close to my nest and my little chickadees. Nothing else seems as important. Ahhhh, but life must go on.

Anyway, as much as I don't feel motivated, I just can't let the last couple of weeks go by without etching them down somewhere besides my fragile little memory. Nope, they are too important, too valuable, too priceless, and too fleeting. After all, that's what this blog was intended for in the first place, to remember.

#1 - My baby turned 2. My sweet, handsome little devil turned 2, and it was perfect. He is so stinkin' cute and we had such a great time. We had a birthday party for him at the park, and just the right friends and family came. We ordered the ginormous pizza that we always get, always a novelty and great conversation piece. Also a damn good pizza. The weather was perfect, in the 60's, clear and cool with a bit of sun. The theme was Sesame Street, with Elmo as the key player. Funny how much I hate when kids are addicted to characters and such, but here's my boy having his Elmo party. I can't deny the poor child just because I'm such a weirdo. The kids played, the parents talked and laughed, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Toward the end of the party Adlai's godbrothers showed up and were throwing the football around with Kim. I looked over and Adlai was running back and forth between all the big boys, trying to catch the football. Priceless.

#2- My now big boy went to pre-school. I remember Zyan's first day of pre-school like it was  yesterday. I remember it was her birthday, and she was turning 2. I remember taking a picture of her out in front of the school.....and I remember he cheezy little smile. And now, I remember it all over again, only this time it was my boy, cheezy smile and all. Same school, same time, same pictures. He had just turned 2 as well, funny how that works out. Zyan insisted on coming with him to his first day, so I picked her up from school in the middle of the day and she came. That girl is amazing. She brought him into his classroom where they were dancing, and she danced with him until he felt comfortable while Kim and I watched and took pictures. We stayed for about 20 minutes, and then we said goodbye. "Bye Mama, bye Daddy, Bye Zy Zy" and big kisses for all of us, not a tear. When I put his stuff in his cubby I was overcome with emotion as I remembered doing the same for Zyan, and here I am again, one more baby growing up and another one growing in the belly.

#3- Both my littles got haircuts, and Zyan looks hardly like a little anymore. In fact, I need to just own it, she looks grown up. Damnit. But I have so much respect for that little girl, she donated all of her long gorgeous hair to Locks of Love, for the second time now. Love. And Adlai, well, Adlai just looks like a Tyger now.

#4- Zyan got a phone call from a boy. Sighhhhhhhhhhh. I don't even know where to begin on this one. "Hi, this is Sebastian, may I please speak to Zyan?"                  
WHAT?!?!? Um, no you crazy fool you may NOT speak to Zyan!!!! Oh, wait, that wouldn't be good. "Oh, sure, hold on. Zyan, it's for you. It's Sebastian."  She looks at me in complete shock, embarrasment, and satisfaction.
"Hello? Hi. Your welcome. Bye." All in a very non-excited, monotone, almost annoyed voice.
LOLOLOLOL THAT'S MY GIRL!!! Make him NEVER WANT TO CALL YOU AGAIN!

The next night.....
Phone rings. Kim answers. "Hi, this is Sebastian, may I please speak to Zyan?" About 1 minute later, Zyan comes into my room and says, "Mom, Sebastian called and said thanks for the brownie and he wants to know if we can have a playdate sometime."
"Umm, ok." (Totally in shock.) Then, she uncomfortably shoves the phone at me, which is STILL ON, and so I say hello, and his mom proceeds to get on the phone and tell me Sebastian just did the same thing to her and she didn't even know he had called Zyan!
WTH?!?!? This boy actually sorted through the school roster and found Zyan's phone number and called and said thanks for the brownie AND asked for a playdate all on his own? Sheesh, the kid's got balls! So I planned a group outing with the mom and I and all of our kids (This is NOT a date people!) to go to the park or something sometime soon. When I hung up I asked Zyan if she even wanted a playdate with Sebastian and she said "Not really." Why? "Well, cuz he's a boy and, I dunno." PHEWWWWW. Largest sigh of relief. I am SO not ready for this, and apparently, neither is she!

BTW, to explain the brownie, they are doing a secret valentine exchange in class where they draw a name out of a hat and give that person 4 secret gifts until V-day. Of course Zyan picked a boy, and it was Sebastian, and one of the other kids told him that she got him. So she gave him a bouncy ball the first day (the first phone call to say thank you) and a brownie we had made the next day. Ah well, as my best friend pointed out, at least Sebastian has manners. And I might sneak in that he's pretty darn cute, but don't tell anyone I said that.

The before and after hair pics.....

My belly at 23 weeks, 3 days 1.25.2010

My belly at 24 weeks, 1 day 1.30.2010

Complaining is Overrated

Today my husband did some annoying things:
Today I caught my husband cutting flowers with our steak knife.
Today I found nail clippers in the silverware drawer, and I didn't put them there.
Today my husband left food on the stove.
Today my husband got the wrong orange juice, again.

Today I fell in love with my husband once again, as I often do, because:
Today my husband brought me flowers, cut them, and put them in a vase for me.
Today my husband did the dishes, and put them away. (The nail clippers were in the sink.)
Today my husband went grocery shopping, called me when he was driving home, heard there was more I needed, and drove back to the store and did more.
Today my husband made dinner.
Today my husband got up with the kids so I could sleep in on my last day of vacation, which is his last day of vacation too.
Today my husband took both kids to the park, bought Zyan an ice cream, brought them home, made them lunch, and put Adlai down for his nap so I could go have lunch with a friend.
Today my husband called me from the store to tell me he loved me. When I asked him why, he said "because you have another one of our babies growing in your belly."
Today my husband gave Adlai a shower and washed his hair. Later, when Adlai rubbed hair gel all over his neck, my husband gave him a bath.
Today I heard my husband giggling with our son for 30 minutes while he gave him a bath.
Today my husband did all of these things with tendonitis in both feet and active Rheumatoid Arthritis that is causing him lots of pain.
Today I am so thankful for my husband, and I can't complain about a single thing.

Get Your Groove On

I have watched this about 4 times in the last few days, and every time I laugh..... It is kind of long, but try every time it starts to get monotonous something new and exciting pops out. I'm in the background watching, and although you wouldn't know it from the video, I'm silently laughing so hard there are tears streaming down my face. I just didn't want to cramp the boy's style, so I hid it. Unfortunately, my view was the best, and Kim got mostly the rear view, but it still does justice. Enjoy!

Swept Away

This one's not so happy. I am so emotional after finding out that a 3 year old boy- a friend of a friend's son, just went to heaven. He had leukemia, and he was absolutely beautiful. I went to his website, http://www.getwellsebastien.com/ and watched him grow from a newborn. I can't stop crying, even as I write this. It just seems so unfair. I don't understand why this happens, why people have to suffer through these things. Watching that beautiful tiny baby grow and wrap his arms around you each day, with his bright smiles and angelic eyes..... only to be swept away.

I had to go pick up my sleeping boy, and hold him. I kissed his face a million times and held and rocked him.

Lucky me.

*Edited to Add* After I pulled myself together, I went over to my friend's blog. There's always something there that makes me feel good. (Lots to make you cry too - so watch out! But it's always good.) Anyway, I cried again, only this time it was from laughing so hard. Thanks P, it was just what I needed. A pee in your pants kind of laugh. http://sojourner-ephraim.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-husband-is-never-ridiculous.html

Baby Day

I saw my baby today! Aaaaahhh such a beautiful thing. I saw tiny arms and legs, flailing away, cute little spine, and nice big head (takes after Daddy!) Babe was flipping and flopping and dancing away. It was just a quick minute - I'm not much for ultrasounds when they're not really necessary - but I asked for one today. I just ached to see that little baby, for the confirmation that it is in fact a baby, he he, and for my own selfish peace of mind that everything looks okay in there. I love my doc, he didn't blink an eye when I asked, "Ok, come on, let's go take a look. I wouldn't want you to be depressed over the next few weeks." Not that I would be depressed, but maybe just a teeny bit worried. Now I can relax, and I feel such overwhelming excitement, and love for that sweet little babe tucked safely in my belly.

When we were done, I begged Kim to come have coffee with me before we both headed back to work. At first work won, but I tugged a little harder and he agreed to come. (How does work know he's at the coffee shop and not at the Doc's office?) It was sooooooo nice. We talked about Portland, about him getting into the Illistration program at Art Center, and about how far his art has come now that he has a studio. He looked so handsome, his hair, his hoody, his shoes. He's cute. When we were done we went out to our cars and he said "Wow babe, I can't remember the last time just you and I had coffee together." It's true. Life with work and kids is hectic. But it's fun.